Fake Tan

The main reason I have been so lazy updating this is due to the fact that it takes me a lengthly amount of time to remember the correct font colour and size (I am a unashamedly aesthetic girl-perhaps the reason I was rejected from my chosen MA).

But the recent appearance of a phenomenon better known as 'the sun' has peeled back winter layers and fleshy legs appear down every London street. I have noticed a discrepancy that I cannot leave uncommented and as my notebook is already filled with self-indulgent whining what better way to convey my views than the 21st century 'blog'. So here this blogger has a bone to bear. How is it that every Londoner is tanned on the first day of Summer?

A primary flash of sunlight and bronze legs are a walking, in shorts and flirty dresses, poking out of leggings. Tanned legs before the sun has cast its rays? Impossible. Look a little closer, inspect the ankles and knees. Yes, an overcast shadow of reside. Fake Tan.

Some are admittedly most convincing, only the most observant (or in my case unstimulated) eye would detect anything amiss. However then there are the patchy. I can tell those holiday sun devotes a mile of, blotchy, pale orange, its just not realistic. Why is it more acceptable to be be a fake orange than a natural white Briton? I am no fool, I realise that my sallow stalks would look far more tempting under a natural bronze disguise, but if this can not be achieved conventionally it cannot be achieved at all. In the Victorian era tanned skin was a mark of poverty; Elizabeth Bennet was condemned by bitchy Caroline Bingley for her bronzed appearance in Pride and Prejudice, it was seen as the mark of the field workers who toiled all day with their skin bare to the light.

We are no longer in the Victorian era those I bother with my thoughts remind me (and also remind me that if we were, I would not be living in a grand country house but rather in London slums, probably with consumption); my point is that the idea of a tan is totally subjective. It is neither good nor bad. Lets not label it a trend, a positive asset to a life. It is simply an indication of how long one has spent outside, or ones skin type. Pale girls (and guys) do not conform! If you are an inside being, a naturally ghostly being, do not get out the fake bake or St. Tropez, it is fooling no one. And in the twenty first century there is always the comfort of the footless tight...